Podcast: 365 Christian Men

March 4. Franco Santoriello. “When Franco was a teenager, his dream was to play football.  He practiced hard, got good grades to get a scholarship, and even wanted to take ballet to improve his game.  While weight training, a gym buddy told him about a body-building competition and urged Franco him to compete.   

Franco thought the bodybuilders at the gym looked cool, but he wasn’t interested in that sport.  But his friend insisted, and Franco eventually agreed and joined the competition.  He won second place, despite being the youngest of the twenty-one competitors. 

Ever since then, Franco dreamed of becoming the best bodybuilder he could be.  Within a few years, he was travelling internationally and competing against the strongest men in the world. At 18, he was in Switzerland doing international bodybuilding competitions. By 24, he got his pro card. He was in the top 20 in the world and well on his way to winning Mr. Olympia, the top testosterone cypionate for bodybuilding competition in bodybuilding. That’s a lot of glory for such a young man to handle.  

Self-glorifying talent leads to destruction, but  God-glorifying talent leads to life and healing.  

For Franco, adulthood had barely begun, and he was already signing autographs and rising in popularity with a sport that celebrated strength and power in men. 

But in private, he struggled with drugs and sometimes partied so hard that his workout regime took a hit.  

Franco knew the drugs were wrong.  And when his older brother invited him to church, Franco rushed to the altar and accepted Christ because he knew he needed God and didn’t want to go to hell. But the glory of bodybuilding offered so many things he didn’t want to give up.  Pride.  Drugs.  Women.  Franco wanted Christ as his savior, but not his Lord.  After all – he was already in his prime.  His talent and his good genes had already brought him so high, he was one of the strongest men in the world.  Nothing would take him down. 

But in time, the drug use took its toll. Franco went to rehab—six times,  but the addiction still gripped him. By 30, he had done his last show. “I couldn’t recover.  I wanted to recover, but couldn’t recover,” Franco said.  Eventually, he hit rock bottom and ended up in prison. 

Anxious, depressed, and full of despair, Franco wondered what had happened.  Now overweight, there were times he could barely walk.  He’d survived a heroin overdose and a widow-maker heart attack. And he needed help.  While in prison, he cried out to God.  Now he realized, he needed more than a savior.  He needed a Lord. 

When He read the Bible, things began to click.  His spirit had been starving.  He went back to the gym and started exercising again.  What started off as five minutes a day for the Bible and five for the workout turned into four hours a day for each.  Within nine months, he lost a hundred pounds.   More importantly, he knew he had to focus on what God said.  

When Franco got out of prison, he was determined to continue his new regimen.  And  he would take the gospel to the addict and the convict. Because he was a bodybuilder, he now had a platform to help others who had been just like him. Franco felt the Lord say, “What I’m doing for you, I want you to do it for them.”  

At first, Franco didn’t know where to begin his ministry, but God provided a way. People were asking “What happened to Franco Santoriello?” 

When he reappeared, he got asked to share his story—not only in the prisons, but in bodybuilding podcasts and other venues. Franco’s strength and appearance gave him credibility, and his experience made people want to listen. “I lived it,” Franco said.  His audience was able to relate to him. 

Today, Franco ministers not only to prisoners and addicts, but to bodybuilders, as well.  “There is victory.  There is hope.  There is life in Christ,” he says.  And though many enter bodybuilding, only a few make it professionally.  Franco understands, however, that no matter where they end up, every athlete goes all in, and he wants to help them find their true purpose in Christ.  His mission statement is “to encourage, motivate, and inspire those that are broken, bound, and bruised  into living a victorious and purposeful like in Christ.”   

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power” (Ephesians 6:10 NIV). 

Think about your talents.  Are you using them to glorify yourself, or Christ? Self-glorifying talent leads to destruction, but  God-glorifying talent leads to life and healing.  

 March 2. Jeffrey Fidler. Jeffrey had been a construction worker. He had been a husband, and he had been a father. Enter heroin. 

Exit hope. 

Until this date in 1995, when God showed up. Here’s today’s story. 

Shame can cripple a man; embrace the truth and break free. 

Jeff was a man who loved his family, but drug addiction gripped him, and heroin had become his true love. The sun rose and set on getting his fix. Even his kids, four and two at the time, couldn’t compete with the allure of heroin. 

One winter night—it had been two weeks since he had seen his children; his mother had been caring for them—Jeff walked through his mother’s front door. 

Dirty, dressed in rags, with scraggly hair down to his waist, he knelt in front of his son, who was watching television. 

“Hey, buddy!” Jeff said. “I missed you! Did you miss me?” 

The little boy ignored him and kept his eyes glued to the TV screen. 

“I’m gonna pick you up this weekend, and we’re gonna go to the park, OK, bud?” 

His son nodded, but never looked in his father’s direction. The little boy had heard this before. When it came to his dad, promises were made to be broken. 

“I mean it this time, OK? I love you buddy.” 

Silence. 

Broken, Jeff kissed his young son’s forehead and quietly left. He was losing everyone and everything that was important to him, and he didn’t know how to fix it. A dozen stints in rehab hadn’t helped him. He was thinking about suicide. 

Feeling disgusted with himself, Jeff punched the front door of his dimly lit apartment. He went to the basement and started lifting weights. With a fury. 

Lifting weights had always been his refuge, his chance to think, but this time he was pushing himself to the limit, not because he wanted to bulk up, but to punish himself. 

“I deserve pain!” he growled. 

As his muscles burned, and sweat dripped into his eyes, he heard a voice: “Worship me.” 

Jeff lowered the weights onto the weight bench and looked around the dingy basement. Was he losing it? “Who’s there?” he shouted. 

No answer. 

Jeff looked around the basement. 

“Worship me.” It was louder this time. 

Then overwhelming peace washed over Jeff. Something was pulling him. He fell on his knees, then all the way down, his face to the floor. Bathed in peace. Healing peace. 

“Worship me!” 

In that moment, Jeff knew God was speaking to him. Tears turned to sobs. Jeff lay on the floor and cried out, “Help me, God! Save me!” 

Hours passed. 

When Jeff got up, his knees ached and were covered in dirt. But something was … different. He was … new. 

He knew he was done with drugs, and he had an overwhelming desire to pick up a Bible and learn about the Lord. 

He remembered his grandmother. Her years of prayers. She had prayed that her entire family would come to know Jesus. 

Jeff had heard about Jesus all his life, and had rejected Him. Jeff had assumed that God was so disgusted with him that it wasn’t worth asking Him for help. 

Until now.  

Today, Jeff knows that no one is beyond redemption, and God offers it to anyone who needs it. 

In his bedroom, Jeff leaned back in his chair and reached for his well-worn Bible. Seated in the armchair near the window sat a fellow construction worker. 

He had gotten injured on the job and had become addicted to opioids. His wife took the children and left him, and he feared he was about to be unemployed. He knew he needed help, he told Jeff, but he was too ashamed to admit he was an addict. 

“Dude—” Jeff said, pausing. He paged through the Word until he found an appropriate verse. Reaching over to place a hand on his co-worker’s shoulder, Jeff said, “I get it. But God doesn’t see you as an addict, and He can take your shame away. Listen to this …” 

“As Scripture says, ‘Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.’ For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved’” (Romans 10:11-13 NIV). 

If the weight of your past still causes you shame, confront the shame with the truth of God’s Word and be set free. Shame can cripple a man; embrace the truth and break free. 

Based on a talk with Jeffrey Fidler, 2019. 

Story read by Nathan Walker 

February 28. David Wilkerson. Wilkerson was the founding pastor of the non-denominational Times Square Church in New York City and the founder of the addiction-recovery program Teen Challenge. He started as a Pentecostal preacher in rural Pennsylvania. On this date in 1958, Wilkerson drove eight hours to preach God’s love to members of a New York gang. Soon he moved to New York City to minister to the gangs. 

In 1962, Wilkerson published The Cross and the Switchblade, which made him famous, especially after its movie version came out eight years later. 

But when Wilkerson published his new book: Vision, which warned that because of America’s “rebellion against God, we were headed toward major judgments and ultimate destruction,” he immediately fell out of favor. Wilkerson “became a pariah overnight. His books were removed from the church bookstores, and he was personally condemned as a ‘fear–monger.’” 

Wilkerson had written: “The world is about to witness the beginnings of great sorrows brought about by history’s most drastic weather changes, earthquakes, floods—terrible calamities …” and “It is not really a depression I see coming—but a recession of such magnitude that it will affect the lifestyle of nearly every wage earner in America and around the world.… some of the nation’s major corporations will declare bankruptcy. … Fear generated by the economy will lead to a revolution at the polls” … and … “The auto industry is going to be hurt badly.” 

No amount of shunning could keep Wilkerson quiet. He kept telling the truth in love until he died in 2011. Today’s story focuses on his early years in New York. 

Nothing can stand against a man fueled by God’s love. 

With the newspaper spread out in front of him, small-town preacher David Wilkerson sat praying. The article in front of him was about the Mau Maus—a New York City gang who had declared war on the police department. Gang members hid on rooftops and dropped sandbags on the police. They fired at each other with shotguns, and many of the boys died that year. 

Wilkerson thought about the Apostle Paul saying he was the worst of sinners, but he had found grace. Paul thought of himself as an example of what Jesus could do, he said. If God could save Paul, God could save anybody. 

So Wilkerson prayed that God would send him to “one of the worst gang leaders in New York City. Save him and put your hand on him, and then let him walk the streets with me.” That young man would be an example like Paul. 

And before long, Wilkerson stood on a stage in New York, and the Mau Maus were in the auditorium. Wilkerson said God had the power to change the people—he meant the people there this night. 

Nicky Cruz jumped up, pointed at Wilkerson, and yelled, “You shut up. Don’t open your mouth anymore. If you say anything, you’re gonna drop dead. … This is not God power here … this is man power and this is gang power. And there’s no way that God has the power to change anybody.” 

“He was standing calmly on stage,” Nicky said about Wilkerson. “His head bowed. I knew he was praying. Here was this skinny man, unafraid, in the midst of all this danger. Where did he get his power? Why wasn’t he afraid like all the rest of us?” 

Nicky was irate, told his gang the preacher was crazy, took them down to a certain basement, and promised them a good time. 

Fifteen minutes later, without even knocking, Wilkerson opened the door and walked into the basement room, the Brooklyn headquarters of the Mau Maus. He said, “Where’s Nicky?” as if he had known him a long time. 

Nicky stood and yelled at him, told him to stop, pointed his gun at Wilkerson, and said if he took another step Nicky would blow his head off. 

“Wilkerson hesitated for a moment,” Nicky said. “But he didn’t stop … he was a skinny man, but he kept walking straight toward me and said, ‘Come on, Nicky, shake my hand.’” 

Nicky slapped Wilkerson’s face, spat on him, cursed at him, and threatened to kill the young preacher. Then he headed for the door. 

Before he reached the door, Wilkerson yelled at him, “Nicky, just a moment.” He said, “You could kill me, Nicky. You could cut me in a thousand pieces and lay them out on the street. But every piece would cry out Jesus loves you.” 

Trying to scare Wilkerson away, Nicky gave him a death stare. 

“Nicky, I’m not scared of you,” Wilkerson said. “You’re just like the rest of us. You’re afraid. You’re lonely. But Jesus loves you. One day, Nicky, you are going to stop running and come running to Him.” 

Crying, Wilkerson put his hand on Nicky’s head and prayed for him—the first time Nicky had heard anyone pray out loud. 

Nicky swore he wouldn’t cry; he hadn’t cried since he was eight—but this man was talking to God about him. Nicky pushed Wilkerson away, but then he saw a vicious gang member on his knees and bawling his head off, asking Jesus to help him. Two more gang members were on their knees and crying. 

Nicky thought this was crazy. He was so confused. Could it be true that God loved him? After a gut-wrenching struggle, Nicky asked God—if it was true—would God help him. 

Within minutes, a burden lifted off his shoulders, and he told Wilkerson that he knew that Jesus loved him. 

God began a great work in Nicky that night. And he went on to enter the ministry full time. 

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love” (1 John 4:18 NASB). 

Are there things you fear? What small step toward overcoming that fear can you take today? Nothing can stand against a man fueled by God’s love. 

Wilkerson, David. “Nicky Cruz Ex-gang leader conversion story.” Update written by Keith Thompson. Published November 22, 2016. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC4UYcRTk88&feature=youtu.be. 

Cruz, Nicky and Jamie Buckingham. Run Baby Run. Newberry, FL: Bridge-Logos Publishers, 2016. 

Batty, David and Ethan Campbell. Teen Challenge 50 Years of Miracles. Columbus, GA: Teen Challenge International, 2008. 

February 27. AR Bernard. Bernard left a 10-year career with a major New York bank and went into full-time ministry. After multiple adventures with God, Bernard and his wife Karen founded the Christian Cultural Center, which grew into a global platform for the gospel and is now the largest house of worship in New York City. It has more than 37,000 members. 

On this date in 2017, Bernard was honored with a lifetime achievement award by the Consulate General of Israel. 

If you value your family above your work, you won’t regret the price you pay for success. 

“I found the secret. I know exactly what women want,” said Pastor Bernard, and the men in the meeting broke into applause. Then Bernard turned and wrote on the whiteboard: “They don’t know.” The men jumped to their feet, laughed and cheered louder. 

“Hold it, guys,” Bernard interrupted. Then he wrote on the whiteboard: “They do know what they don’t want.” The women stood to their feet, applauding. 

It was in this comical, honest moment of counseling married couples that the concept for Bernard’s second best-selling book, Four Things Women Want from a Man, was born. 

Bernard’s comments turned personal as he reflected publicly on the 1980s, an incredibly difficult chapter of his marriage to Karen. He shared how when Mrs. Bernard needed him during a challenging pregnancy, he was on the road with ministry commitments. 

She miscarried twins. 

This deeply painful experience caused her to resent him over the next decade as he continued to put the needs of the ministry ahead of hers. 

He then shared that whether he was a pastor or not, they were headed for divorce. For a spiritual leader, who had counseled tens of thousands of couples over his years in ministry, this moment was a wake-up call. 

She had every reason to walk away, he explained. After a decade of Bernard putting work before family during his years as a banker, and another decade of her needs coming in second to ministry demands, Bernard realized that it was time to man up, to own his actions. 

He vowed to do whatever it would take to turn things around, and she agreed to give their marriage the time it would need to heal. “She hung in there, and things began to change, and the church just began to explode.” 

The people looked on as Bernard spoke, many in the congregation being married couples. Some gasped and were wide-eyed at his comments, and others found comfort in learning that even esteemed spiritual leaders like the Bernards had found their marriage relationship stretched to the breaking point too. 

“I saw what was happening,” he continued. “I thought my wife began to resent the ministry, but she was really resenting me because I had made the ministry my mistress.” 

Bernard recounted how shortly afterward, he was in a meeting at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas, and Dr. David Yonggi Cho of South Korea was speaking. 

As if the moment had been scripted just for Bernard, Dr. Cho shared with the congregation about a season of similar crisis in his marriage. Bernard was profoundly convicted. He cried out to God. And God answered. 

Bernard looked out across his own congregation now seated before him and related the two corrections that God spoke to him that night: 

First, that Jesus didn’t die for his ministry, that Jesus had died for him, and that if Bernard had allowed his calling to jeopardize his own walk with God, then he needed a priority check. 

Second, that if he would deepen his relationship with his wife, God would broaden his ministry. 

Over the years following their crisis, Pastor Bernard took those words to heart, diligently applying his workaholic focus to honoring his bride and making her top priority in his life, right after his relationship with God. 

As a result of his repentance and correcting his priorities, the Bernards’s marriage blossomed into a mighty force for God rather than ending in divorce. They founded a ministry together, the Christian Cultural Center. 

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25 ESV). 

What are the obvious priorities in your life? Does the order need to change? If you value your family above your work, you won’t regret the price you pay for success. 

Thomasos, Christian. “Pastor A.R. Bernard Unlocks Key to What Women Want in New Book (Interview).” Published April 23, 2016. Christian Post. https://www.christianpost.com. 

“Four Things Women Want from a Man by A. R. Bernard: About the book.” Accessed October 12, 2020. Simon & Schuster. https://www.simonandschuster.com. 

Green, Penelope. “The Power Pastor: How A.R. Bernard Built a New York Megachurch.” Published October 15, 2016. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/​2016/​10/​16/​style/​reverend-ar-bernard-new-york-megachurch.html. 

Blair, Leonardo. “Megachurch Pastor AR Bernard Reveals He and Wife Were Once Headed for Divorce.” Published May 6, 2016. Christian Post.  https://www.christianpost.com/​news/​megachurch-pastor-ar-bernard-reveals-he-and-wife-were-once-headed-for-divorce-163491/. 

Keener, Ronald E. “A.R. Bernard, Senior Pastor, Christian Cultural Center, Brooklyn, NY”. Published June 1, 2008. Church Executive. https://churchexecutive.com/. 

Story read by Chuck Stecker 

Story written by John Mandeville, https://www.johnmandeville.com/ 

February 26. John Chrysostom. As a young man, John was severe in rejecting a life of luxury and ease. He spoke the truth plainly and in love, and people hungered for his leadership so much they virtually kidnaped him. A military escort took him to Constantinople, where he reluctantly agreed to be consecrated their bishop. On this date in 398, John was ordained the Bishop of Constantinople. 

In that position, he continued speaking out against self-indulgence and sin in the clergy and within the government. He continued with the kind of talk that can make a man powerful enemies. But no enemy on earth is as powerful as God. Here’s John’s story. 

Telling the truth may make a man enemies; holding onto the truth will make a man strong. 

People loved John and crowded in to hear him speak. Wonderful, right? Good for the people, good for the kingdom of God, not so good for John’s jealous enemies. 

John preached bluntly and repeatedly against the self-indulgent lives of the people. And while the other bishops held themselves separate from and above “the people,” John did not. 

Instead of repenting of their self-indulgent ways, the bishops mounted an insidious campaign against John. Bishop Theophilus liked the other clergy to be weak-minded men, so he could dominate them. But about John, there was nothing weak in body or mind. 

Theophilus schemed with a group of Egyptian bishops, who brought twenty-nine false accusations of immorality and high treason against John. But he refused to appear before a packed court of his enemies, and he appealed to a general council. 

His request was ignored. 

Theophilus then sent a letter to the King stating, “Whereas John is accused of various offences, and in consciousness of his guilt has refused to appear, he is by the laws degraded from his bishopric, and this has been done. The memorials include a charge of treason. Your piety, therefore, will command, that whether he will or no, he be expelled from his office, and pay the penalty for his treason.” 

So John was sentenced to life in exile. 

As soon as John’s unfair sentence became public knowledge, the people got all riled up. A single word from John would have raised an insurrection. Instead, he refused to rebel or resist and surrendered himself freely to the imperial officers. 

He then traveled in the dark to the harbor and climbed on board a ship destined for a city at the mouth of the Black Sea. He expected he would never return. 

John believed all that had occurred was God’s doing, that he was “an oak of righteousness,” one the Lord had planted. 

“To grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified” (Isaiah 61:3 NASB). 

Whether he lived or died or was barred from his home country, John was determined to glorify the Lord. 

He experienced peace and felt no anxiety. He said, “If the Empress Eudoxia wishes to banish me, let her do so; ‘the earth is the Lord’s.’” 

He then told about how Isaiah had been sawn into pieces and said he was ready to endure the same. He went on, “If Eudoxia wants me to be drowned in the ocean, I think of Jonah. If I am to be thrown into the fire, the three men in the furnace suffered the same.” 

He said, “If cast before wild beasts, I remember Daniel in the lion’s den. If Eudoxia wants me to be stoned, I have before me Stephen, the first martyr. If she demands my head, let her do so; John the Baptist shines before me. Naked I came from my mother’s womb, naked shall I leave this world. Paul reminds me, ‘If I still pleased men, I would not be the servant of Christ.’” 

But the people who had converted to Christianity under John’s preaching took up weapons and surrounded the palace and demanded he be restored as their bishop. 

The following night, an earthquake convulsed the whole city. Eudoxia’s bedroom shook violently. Fright consumed her, and she felt convicted over her part in John’s exile. She begged the Emperor to avert the wrath of God by recalling John from exile. Messengers were sent out with humble apologies to bring him back. 

When John returned, throughout Constantinople the people rejoiced. As he entered the gates, the people swarmed him, lifted him up, and carried him to the church. They set him down in the official bishop’s chair. 

John concluded, “For the providence of God is beyond understanding, his care is incomprehensible, his goodness is indescribable, and his love for humanity is unsearchable.” 

Are there some heroes of faith in your life who can help you endure? Telling the truth may make a man enemies; holding onto the truth will make a man strong. 

Moore, Herbert. “The Dialogue of Palladius concerning the Life of St. John Chrysostom (1921). Introduction by Herbert Moore. Pp. vii-xxv.” Accessed October 13, 2020. Christian Classics Ethereal Library. http://​www.tertullian.org/​fathers/​palladius_​dialogus_​01_​intro.htm. 

Schaff, Philip. “NPNF1-09. St Chrysostom: On the Priesthood; Ascetic Treatises; Select Homilies and Letters; Homilies on the Statutes by Schaff, Philip (1819-1893).” Accessed October 14, 2020. Christian Classics Ethereal Library. https://ccel.org/‌ccel/‌schaff/‌npnf109/‌npnf109?queryID=5724518&resultID=978  

Hall, Christopher A. “Letters From a Lonely Exile: John Chrysostom to Olympias the Deaconess.” Christian History. Published October 1, 1994. Mystagogy Resource Center. https://www.johnsanidopoulos.com/‌2010/‌07/‌letters-from-lonely-exile-john.html.  

February 25. Brian Johnson. Brian writes award-winning music, speaks professionally, and is the co-founder of Bethel Music and WorshipU with his wife Jenn Johnson. (WorshipU offers courses in all aspects of worship ministry.) 

Brian strives to combine expert musicianship and songwriting with prophetic worship. He and Jenn help worshippers take hold of their true identities and pursue intimacy with God above all else. This passion didn’t come without problems. Here’s a story about a milestone in Brian’s life. 

When you’ve reached the end of yourself, you’re finally free to rely on God. 

Standing near the Sacramento River, Brian watched his son turn over rocks in the search for lizards. Suddenly, he felt a heavy pressure on his chest, and his heart began to pound. The panic and anxiety set in. The air seemed thin. 

Brian tilted his head up and tried to take a deep breath. But he couldn’t. His thoughts raced, and he tried to figure out what was happening to him. When he was a kid, he had had panic attacks, but this was different. This force was stronger. 

Brian yelled to his son that they were out of time to look for lizards. They climbed into the car, and he drove towards home. If he could just get back home, he would feel better. 

His son chatted about lizards, but Brian couldn’t focus. The air was being sucked out of him, and the weight on his chest increased. 

The five-minute drive home seemed like it took an eternity. 

At home, Brian told his son to go inside as he walked along the trail beside their home, trying to catch his breath. His wife ran out to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. 

“Babe, I feel like I’m losing my mind,” he whispered. Then he knelt to stop his head from spinning. 

“Slow down. Just breathe. It will be okay. You’re alright,” she said. 

But it wasn’t okay. This was hell. He got to his feet again, and they walked back into the house. Worship music was playing in every room. But the peace it usually brought was missing. The verses, music, and words he used to say in moments of panic were not working. He was still flooded with a hopeless, alone, and overwhelming feeling that made him feel trapped in his own mind, unable to escape. He was convinced he was sliding into insanity. 

He couldn’t connect with anyone. Or focus on anything. The darkness was closing in on him, and he didn’t know how to stop it. He tried to sing. 

“This has to stop. I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating.” 

Time passed. Suddenly, the air in the room seemed electric, and something pulled him deeper into the blackness, and he tried to fight it. But his strength was failing. 

His wife dialed 911 and called his parents. 

Still pacing, a moment of clarity pierced through. He had to decide whether to fight this or let it drag him down. He walked to his wife and kids and said, “This is when God becomes real.” 

He knew his battle had just begun. Freedom would come, but it would take the next six months and not just the next six hours. 

It was a grueling process. The stress of life bore down on him, and even with the help of medication, there was no relief. Brian decided enough was enough. 

He uncovered the root of his anxiety. Unforgiveness and pain from ignoring conflict and pushing through complexities of life had caused him to pop like a balloon. Recognizing that we were not made to carry the stress alone, he finally understood why his body turned on him: it was telling him to stop and take a look inside. 

“Our culture often teaches us to man up … Instead of admitting that we’re hurting or feeling any pain. We were designed to feel the pain and bring it to the Father. That’s what Jesus did. He felt the pain and laid it at the Father’s feet.” 

“I thought I would never escape the anxiety and panic that consumed my life. But God did what only he can do.” God became Brian’s only option. 

“For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33 ESV.) 

Is there a place in your life where you need to be real with God? When you’ve reached the end of yourself, you’re finally free to rely on God. 

Johnson, Brian. When God Becomes Real. Elkhart, IN: Bethel Book Publishing, 2019. 

Parke, Caleb. “‘When God Becomes Real’: Bethel Pastor Opens Up After Being Hospitalized For Nervous Breakdown.” Published February 1, 2019. Fox News. https://www.foxnews.com. 

Story read by Nathan Walker 

Story written by Abigail Schultz, https://www.instagram.com/abigail_faith65