August 6. Brennan Manning. Brennan was a Marine in the Korean War, studied journalism at the University of Missouri, and later, philosophy and Latin at Saint Francis College, where he became a Christian.
He was ordained a Franciscan priest, taught, and then joined a contemplative order that served the poor in Spain and Switzerland. For six months, he lived in a remote cave in the desert.
Next, Brennan helped establish a ministry and chapel for poor shrimp farmers on an Alabama bayou, ministered on a college campus, befriended musician Rich Mullins, and wrote 15 books. This is a man who learned to trust God.
Hurting people hurt people; let forgiveness put an end to the cycle.
Brennan learned a harsh lesson from a cold and distant mother. She had made him believe what she had believed: “You don’t always get what you want.”
Years later, when Brennan got the call that his mother had died, he felt no grief. He was ticked he would have to go to her funeral.
Her death certainly didn’t erase all the years of abuse and pain and shame he had endured. “My mother had completely lost her memory,” Brennan said. “But I hadn’t.”
He flew to New Jersey and checked into a motel near the funeral location. But he didn’t go to the church and pay his respects; he went to the liquor store and bought Scotch. He locked himself in his hotel room and shut the curtains and drank the time away.
Thoughts of his mother plagued him. What she had said. Brennan had no memory of ever being hugged, held, kissed—not by her. Once, when he had said she loved his older brother more than him, she punched him over and over.
Now, ashamed and alone in the motel room, he downed more alcohol, tried to forget, and finally blacked out.
The next day, Brennan woke and tried to remember where he was. Eventually, the truth became clear. He had blacked out from drinking and missed his mother’s funeral. He hadn’t thought he could feel more ashamed, but now he did.
Another decade passed, and winter was on its way again. One day Brennan took time out to talk to God about the daily needs on his mind. His mother wasn’t on the list of things to focus on, but when he was in the middle of prayer, an image crossed his mind.
He saw a little girl, about six. He knew it represented his mother when she had been a child. He saw her kneeling at the windowsill of the orphanage, her nose against the glass, praying for God to send her a mother and father so she could be loved.
The little girl wanted to be like other kids. Cared about.
The image shook Brennan, and he realized his mother had been burned by life too. Because she never got the affection she had needed growing up, she didn’t know how to give it away.
In the vision, the little girl walked over to Brennan, and as she got closer, she aged.
When she had become the old woman he remembered from a decade ago, she said, “You know, I messed up a lot when you were a kid. But you turned out okay.” Then, she kissed him.
The hurt, the pain … Brennan realized it was okay to feel it. God was showing him through the vision that it was okay to admit that the shame had affected him all those years. But he couldn’t allow it to disable him any longer. He could no longer be controlled by it.
He looked at her. “I forgive you,” he said.
In the vision, his mother smiled back. “I guess sometimes you do get what you ask for.”
He later wrote about the experience. “A trusting heart is forgiven,” he wrote, “and, in turn, forgives.”
“‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven’” (Luke 6:37 NIV).
Resentment will cripple you; release it. Hurting people hurt people; let forgiveness put an end to the cycle.
Manning, Brennan and John Blase. All is Grace: A Ragamuffin Memoir. Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2011.
Lee, Dolly M. “What was Brennan Manning’s biggest obstacle to trust?” Posted September 17, 2014. Soul Stops. https://soulstops.com/what-was-brennan-mannings-biggest-obstacle-to-trust/.
Owens, tiffany. “Ragamuffin author Brennan Manning dies.” Posted April 15, 2013. World. https://world.wng.org/the year 2013/04/ragamuffin_author_brennan_manning_dies.
Would You Like to Learn More About This Man?
“My life is a witness to vulgar grace—a grace that amazes as it offends,” he wrote in All Is Grace. “It’s not cheap. It’s free, and as such will always be a banana peel for the orthodox foot and fairy tale for the grown-up sensibility.” Brennan Manning.
“As you read [Brennan’s] memoir you may be tempted, as I am, to think ‘Oh, what might have been … if Brennan hadn’t given into drink,’” commented his friend Philip Yancey. “I urge you to reframe the thought to, ‘Oh, what might have been … if Brennan hadn’t discovered grace.’” Philip Yancey, quoted in world.wng.org
Story read by: Blake Mattocks
Introduction read by: Daniel Carpenter
Audio production: Joel Carpenter
Editor: Teresa Crumpton, https://authorspark.org/
Project Manager: Blake Mattocks
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