June 28. Mike McNeill. Mike grew up with a dad who took him fly-fishing. But Mike knew that today in America, 50 percent of boys grow up in fatherless homes. Mike got involved in a group called Fathers in the Field, which pairs fatherless boys with Christian mentors. Today’s story is about how Mike got started with a boy we’ll call Dan.*
Showing up—it’s often the way to break through.
Dan was seventeen, older than boys usually accepted into the program, but Mike felt drawn to him. Since Dan was almost a man, Mike asked him to commit to three years of mentoring. And Dan agonized over the decision.
Once Dan said yes, Mike was “all in.” But even after months of spending time together, the wall around Dan’s heart wore a Do Not Enter sign.
“I don’t know if it’s going to work out with this kid,” Mike told his wife Maria. “He is so…broken down.” But Mike invited Dan to go fly-fishing.
The afternoon before the fishing trip, Mike’s cell rang. He pulled into a parking space on the side of the post office and answered. It was Dan.
Dan talked in overlapping circles. And Mike thought maybe Dan didn’t want to fish. He said they could do something else. But that didn’t fix whatever the problem was. The conversation was going nowhere. “Dan, what’s really up?” Mike asked.
“Are you really going to pick me up tomorrow?”
Mike sucked in a quick breath. It wasn’t that Dan didn’t want to go. It was how much he did want to go. Dan was afraid Mike wouldn’t show up. What should have brought excitement, anticipation, and joy had reawakened old fear. Memories of the million times he had been let down.
Mike told Dan that nothing—short of death—would keep him away. He added that he believed God wanted them to go fishing, so he wasn’t worried about dying today.
The next morning, it was still dark when Mike arrived at Dan’s condo. And he texted Dan to let him know he was outside: Come on out.
But Dan didn’t respond.
The neighborhood was quiet, and surely Dan’s family was still asleep. Mike walked to the front door and knocked softly.
No answer.
Mike hesitated only a minute before he rang the doorbell—repeatedly. Dan might not be all in, but Mike was in enough for both of them right now. He wasn’t walking away. He would wake up the whole house if he had to.
Finally, Dan opened the door, his sun-streaked blond hair sticking up and sticking out. “I’m sorry. I forgot to set my alarm.”
“It’s okay.” Mike understood what Dan hadn’t said. “I’ll wait in the car.” Dan had been afraid to set his alarm. Afraid Mike wouldn’t show. Afraid to risk disappointment again. Not setting his alarm was self-preservation.
Twenty minutes later Dan appeared, climbed in, and they drove to Eleven Mile Canyon. Unloaded. Put on waders, boots, and fishing vests.
One of the prettiest stretches of pristine water in Colorado, the Platte River flowed through a high rock canyon, and here Mike showed Dan how to cast. They fished up and down the river, but Mike was most excited to introduce Dan to his favorite spot—the place Mike’s dad had brought him as a kid.
For a while, Mike and Dan cast below a little bit of a rapid—what fly-fishermen called a ripple. Then streaking lightning sent them scrambling for cover. Hunkered beneath a tree, they laughed and waited out the storm.
That day Dan began to trust Mike. From then on, Mike invited Dan into his life, his family, and his heart. They did a lot of fun stuff together. They also faced Dan’s dark times: Drug addiction. Sexual addiction. Attempted suicide. Mike was always there—for a long time. And when Dan decided to follow Jesus, he asked Mike to baptize him—in their fishing hole on the Platt River.
“But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him” (1 John 2:5 ESV ).
Who in your life are you all in for? Showing up—it’s often the way to break through.
Based on an interview with Mike McNeil, 2019.
NFL. “Players: Mike McNeill.” Accessed May 9, 2020. http://www.nfl.com/player/mikemcneill/2530977/profile.
*Dan is not the boy’s real name.
Do You Want to Learn More About This Man?
Today in America, 50 percent of boys grow up in fatherless homes. Fathers in the Field pairs fatherless boys with Christian mentors.
In his book Every Man’s a Mentor, Sam Mehaffie defines a mentor as “a man willing to serve; to share his life with a boy; to be a role model, an encourager, a listener. Mentoring helps to develop good character traits in a boy: fairness, decency, self-sacrifice, respect, loyalty, service, responsibility, integrity, unselfishness, honor, and self-esteem. And, when a godly man mentors a boy, he is helping to build Christian character into that boy, and hopefully will introduce him to Christ. A Christian mentor is a man reaching out to a boy to help him reach his God-given potential.”