The CMN ministry has trained more than a million leaders in 138 nations, and those leaders are teaching others. CMN also provides the Majoring in Men curriculum, which has been used by more than 8 million men. All this work around the globe is based on a foundational truth: “Manhood and Christlikeness are synonymous.”
If you want to be successful in life, start by being Christlike at home.
In the late 70s, Cole called his employee Tom into his office. Tom had been blessed with intelligence, talent, and the expertise to succeed. And Cole had decided to fire him.
Tom—an executive at the Christian TV station Cole managed—desperately wanted to serve God, but everything he touched turned to failure: Tom had pastored two churches and failed. Failed in a business position. Failed as an associate pastor. And now at the television station, his job was to produce results. And he had failed.
When Tom got fired, he wasn’t surprised. His career had spiraled downward as surely as if it had been flushed. And he didn’t know why.
His spiritual life was no better. For some mysterious reason, prayer had become difficult for him. God didn’t speak to him, didn’t seem to answer his prayers. Now Tom only prayed in public when someone else called upon him to do it.
Cole desperately wanted to help Tom break free from this pattern of failure, but he couldn’t understand the problem. Tom was the son and grandson of two famous ministers—a good man who had dedicated his life to serving God. He should have been successful.
A few days later, Tom invited Cole and his wife Nancy over for dinner. And Tom’s wife Sue served a wonderful meal.
But when Cole complimented her on the meal, Tom said, “It sure is great to have you here for dinner tonight. Now we’ll get a good meal for a change.”
Cole and Nancy exchanged nervous glances and kept eating.
When Sue returned from the kitchen carrying refreshments, Cole complimented her outfit.
But Tom said, “You know, my wife’s from Arkansas—she only wore shoes because you’re here.”
Sue blushed deeply and averted her eyes, but Tom wouldn’t let up. As the meal went on, Tom’s cruel jokes revealed that Sue had come from a vastly different background.
Tom had been raised in the church, and Sue had had a promiscuous mother, who had dragged her from town to town. As a teenager, Sue had turned over her life to Jesus, but like a lot of people, she had never had any formal Bible education.
But Tom had graduated from seminary, and Sue’s lack of Bible knowledge frequently embarrassed him, especially at church.
Cole watched this husband verbally shred his wife, and the reason for Tom’s repeated failures became clear.
Tom should have taken the time to teach his wife, but instead, he mocked her. And now God was not answering Tom’s prayers because Tom’s lack of respect for his wife had become a blockage between him and God. God wasn’t working through Tom to touch others, and as a result, Tom was trying to do everything in his own strength, which repeatedly led to failure. And with every failure, Tom’s faith in God died a little more.
This was a sobering lesson for Cole, one that would become a key element of his message to men all around the world. It taught them that without respect for their wives, they would not experience the blessings of God within their marriages and families.
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7 NIV).
Are you treating your wife with the respect and kindness she deserves? If you want to be successful in life, start by being Christlike at home.
Cole, Edwin. Maximized Manhood: A Guide to Family Survival. Resolute Books, 1982.
Cole, Edwin Louis. Winners Are Not Those Who Never Fail But Those Who Never Quit. Albury Publishing, 1995.
~Edwin Louis Cole
~Edwin Louis Cole