October 2. Carl Smythe. Carl is not his real name, but Carl is a real man who had to deal with real sin. There was nothing easy about it. Today’s story is a hard one. In 1989, Carl was released from prison.
Do the hard work. God will do his part.
Carl stared at the barren cell. How had he gone from a happily married, church-going man to a prisoner? What had he done to himself?
Depression grew. His pastor had suggested he talk with John, a mental-health professional—and a man of faith.
The day of John’s first visit to the prison, Carl restlessly went through the protocol required to meet with someone from the outside. Finally, John sat across from him.
Carl said, “I’ve ruined my life.”
They talked a while, and then John said that in the Bible, Paul wrote, “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief” (1 Timothy 1:15).
But there in that visiting room, John said he too was the “chief of sinners.”
Carl scoffed. John wasn’t the one in prison. But as Carl studied John’s steady gaze, he realized John meant it.
“Carl,” John spoke softly. “If I’m first chief of sinners, you’re second.”
Carl stood abruptly. He didn’t need another person telling him how bad he was. He shouldn’t have molested his foster child. He had just wanted to help her—but they had become so close!
“Sit down.” John cleared his throat. “You told me you ruined your life. But what about the life of the girl?”
Carl felt like he couldn’t breathe.
“What about your wife?” John said. “Your church? God?”
Carl looked away.
“None of us think we’re as bad as we are, Carl.”
Carl said he wanted to go back to his cell. But he couldn’t escape John’s words. For the first time, instead of thinking about the damage he had done to himself, he faced the damage he had done to the girl—and everyone else. He was a piece of filth. He didn’t deserve to live.
Days turned into weeks, and Carl dreamed up ways to kill himself. The prison put him on suicide watch.
But John kept coming. He explained that until Carl faced the reality of his actions, he couldn’t heal. But now that he had, there was hope. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, Carl was forgiven.
At first Carl rejected the idea. He didn’t deserve forgiveness. John pointed out that Carl was questioning God’s capacity to forgive, heal, and change him. Carl was questioning the ability of the Creator and Sustainer of the universe.
Eventually Carl understood. What he had done to his foster daughter would never be okay. But no sin was bigger than God’s ability to deal with it.
Carl focused on receiving God’s forgiveness, and John asked him to answer three questions: How do I grow? How can I help others? How can I help rebuild what I destroyed?
Carl decided that he could grow by learning more about God, so he took a correspondence course through Moody Bible Institute. Before his imprisonment, he had been a skilled worked. So he helped others by teaching the skill to his fellow inmates. One thing he had destroyed was his marriage. Carl asked John for marriage counseling.
Then came the big challenge. If Carl took the state’s reprogramming classes, he could be released sooner. But the approach fought pedophilia by hooking offenders on adult pornography. John said you couldn’t fight sin with sin. Carl agreed. Most sexual offenders repeated the behavior. As much as Carl wanted an earlier release from prison, there was something he wanted more: forever change.
Carl refused the classes and paid the full extent of his time.
During those long days, Carl continued learning, serving, and rebuilding. When Carl was released, his wife was there, and his marriage was solid.
When you sin, do you gloss it over or do what it takes to for true change? Do the hard work. God will do his part.
Based on an interview, 2019.
Note: Names, dates, and minor details in this story have been changed.
Story read by: Blake Mattocks
Story written by: Paula Moldenhauer, http://paulamoldenhauer.com/