August 16. Michael Lyles. Michael is a psychiatrist in Georgia who loves God and demonstrates it by loving the people God has created.
Today’s story takes place when Michael was 14 years old and attending a new school in a new city. Here’s what happened.
Sometimes you get betrayed; what do you do with the pain?
New to Detroit, Michael was in ninth grade at Kettering High School. And the walk from school to home was about two miles long.
Because September in that part of Michigan—especially in the heart of the concrete city—can be roast-your-brains hot, Michael’s strategic routine was to walk the first mile and then duck into the air-conditioned Sears and Roebuck for a short break before he tackled the second hot mile. Sears had a couple café tables and sold drinks, popcorn, and peanuts.
But the break from the sun was the minor part of Michael’s strategy for surviving freshman year in Detroit. The major part was Michael’s friend—Bob.
Bob played football; he stood 6’3” and weighed about 220. And Bob was fast. Nobody could catch Bob. Most days, Michael and Bob walked home together, and Michael thought it a fine, safe arrangement.
This one afternoon, Michael and Bob had their snacks in the nice cool department store. And Bob always managed to finish his before leaving the store. But Michael decided to finish his popcorn on the way home.
“Walking through a gang-infested neighborhood with food in your hand is never smart. I should have known,” Michael said. “Along the way, a group of five tough-looking guys approached, intent on one thing.” They demanded Michael’s popcorn.
“You can’t have my popcorn!” he said. He had no problem standing up to these guys because Bob had his back. “There’s two of us,” Michael said, “but it’s more like three since he’s so big.” And Michael half-turned to point to Bob—but Bob was gone.
“We don’t see nobody but you,” the leader said.
The gang beat Michael, ripped off his clothes, cut him with a knife, and walked away with his money and his popcorn.
As for Bob, as soon as the trouble started, he had run off like the hired hand Jesus described, who—when he saw the wolf coming—took off running.
And after the assault, that’s what stuck in Michael’s mind most. It wasn’t the pain, the indignity, or the missing popcorn, but the anger. Bob should have stuck around to defend him. “That’s why I was walking with that big guy. I thought I would be safe.”
The physical scars from the assault healed. And the humiliation of picking his battered self up off the sidewalk ended. But the scary memories remained.
Then Michael had to make a choice. He was at the age when many beliefs are formed. And Bob abandoning him could have shaped Michael’s attitude. But he had recently become a disciple—like an apprentice—to Jesus, and Michael was learning to think like Jesus.
Michael chose to forgive Bob and move on. That was what Jesus taught.
Today, Doctor Michael Lyles sits with people who are holding onto feelings and memories that hamper their lives. He helps people sort through distorted thinking and teaches them strategies to overcome old traumas. He knows from personal experience such events can beat people down, knock the joy out of living, and leave them feeling angry and abandoned—if they allow it.
Michael teaches: “The Bible is relevant to all of life or not relevant at all” and that it’s “a book of resilience, not just a book of trauma.” It is a book full of powerful affirmations written to show people the path to recovery.
“When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, ‘The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised to life.’ And the disciples were filled with grief” (Matthew 17:22-23 NIV).
Could some old pain be stealing your joy? Sometimes you get betrayed; what do you do with the pain?
Lyles & Crawford. “Dr. Michael Lyles.” Accessed June 16, 2020. http://www.lylesandcrawford.com/biography.
American Bible Society. “Michael Lyles: Empowering People Who Have Lost Power.” Trauma Healing Institute. Published June 5, 2017. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHZCeHkWxCo.
Interview with Michael Lyles, September, 2019.
Story read by: Joel Carpenter
Introduction read by: Daniel Carpenter
Audio production: Joel Carpenter
Story written by: Toni M Babcock, https://www.facebook.com/toni.babcock.1
Editor: Teresa Crumpton, https://authorspark.org/
Project Manager: Blake Mattocks
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