January 3. Mark Edge. Mark was a youth pastor and assistant pastor for fourteen years and then a pastor for sixteen. On this date in 2017, he made a major career change. He still does weddings and funerals, but he is now a sales rep for ADT Security. Mark was Sales Rep of the Year for 2018 and 2019 out of the Memphis office.
He attends church, but doesn’t serve in the church any longer. He says, “I am discipling my son. That’s all I do. Go to church, work, try to lead my son to faith and growth in Christ.”
Look in the mirror, the best and hardest lessons are often learned there.
Mark was at a retirement party when he spotted Beth from a distance. A pang of guilt stung him. It had been three or four years since he had seen her, and that last memory wasn’t a good one.
He had been a pastor then. He had followed all the rules, even stood a step or two up on his ministerial high horse. When Beth and her husband came to him for guidance because they were struggling and on the verge of divorce, Mark prayed for them.
He encouraged them to work things out, and not to give up. But Beth was having none of it. She was done.
Yet Mark was certain they could salvage things, and it frustrated him that Beth wouldn’t budge. Why couldn’t she try? Why couldn’t she realize she was even a small part of the problem and press through? Mark started to look down on her, and as much as he didn’t mean to, he judged her.
And she knew it. Beth felt the ugly heft of his judgment, and after Beth and her husband divorced, she left Mark’s church.
As that darkness of judging people crept into his life, more bleakness descended in Mark’s own marriage. Soon, he ended up in a similar situation—married, but his wife was … done.
But he was the pastor! How could he talk about that?
He didn’t; he shared it only with a few close friends for fear others would judge him.
It was the very thing that had snared him when he had worked with Beth, and now that he thought of it, probably others, too.
Now Mark was single. Divorced. But also changed. Stripped of all dignity and reputation, he understood the meaning of grace in a way he never had before. In the middle of this time of conviction, God drew Mark close and soothed him.
Mark felt God’s love and forgiveness, which exposed areas of self-righteousness he hadn’t been aware of, and now he had a full grasp of the truth: we’re all on the same level at the foot of the cross. We all need grace, forgiveness, and love.
And that’s what Beth had needed years before. Mark should have been a friend; he should have been like Jesus.
He had failed.
But now here she was, all these years later. He was no longer a pastor, and he was definitely off his high horse. He had no horse. No pride left. Nothing to lose. He decided to say something to Beth.
He approached her. “Hey.” They casually greeted each other.
“I want you to know,” Mark said. “When you were going through your divorce, I wasn’t kind to you, and I know that now. I want you to know I’m very sorry about that.”
“Thank you.” Beth smiled. “I absolutely accept your apology.”
It’s not like it had been a fix-all for Mark and that he magically felt like a new man, but after his short conversation with Beth, he walked away a little lighter. It was good for them to see each other as they were, no one better than another, just regular human beings. Broken. Forgiven.
Coming to this realization was a turning point for Mark—seeing people more like Jesus sees them and loving them more like Jesus loves them, no matter how imperfect they are.
“The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him,’” (Lamentations 3:22–25 NLT).
Has darkness crept into any part of your life? Look in the mirror, the best and the hardest lessons are often learned there.
This story is based on several interviews with Mark Edge, July 2019.